“… saw him lying there and knew that he had been there a long time, he said to him, ‘Do you want to be made well?” John 5:1-18
It is comforting to have the dogs wake up and start asking to go out at a certain time. It doesn’t matter that they were keeping me safe from some ‘heard’ thing … just three hours ago. The wagging and smiles… the wonder at seeing, as if for the first time, yet again, what is out there in the world… the excitement of ‘come and see.’
It is comforting to wake and walk out the door to get the papers. That short walk from front door, out the gate and to stoop down to pick them up. In the walk, to take the pulse of the morning. To breathe in that air of the new day. Checking the tank for water. Having a conversation with the dogs… security. A new moment.
It is comforting to breathe in and breathe out. It is comforting to see the clouds in the sky and to hear the harvest all around. It is comforting to be wakened in the night with security … saying that they need to go and see… later… saying that they are ready to come in.
In this comfort is also the still small voice. That voice of wellness in each breath. The answer is yes. For the question is … the comfort in… Do you want to be made well? In gladness and deep lenten preparation, yes.
There is comfort in the question. There is comfort in the reflection. There is comfort in the conviction… the invitation to conviction. And the renewal in breathing in creation. All of a moment. All of a morning. All of each morning. In humbling seeing. The laugh at the wonder of the joke. And in that … comfort in all of this wonder. Comfort in…
“For this reason my joy has been fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease.” (from John 3:22-36)
To declare a certain set of moments… In that declaration, that observing, that describing; those moments take on scope, scale and context. They live beyond the moment of coming into being, passing through being and spinning on and away. Even in the taking time to describe, to observe, to muse… the moment lives beyond its arc.
The breath. The beat of the heart. The whole of the heart beat. The whole of the breathing cycle.
When a moment is judged in the context of a larger wave, that moment may be living far beyond its ripple.
Into the dark of this lenten moment, a light is shining. That which would grab and hold moment is given free rein to stand far beyond the moment of existing. Defended as special in the face of the wave of next moment. Held against the rushing tide and wave of time… In that defense, a different ripple comes.
In John being clear that the passage of moment is to allow the breaking wave … the breaking wave and the receding wave … in harmonic dance. When one holds the longer… the rip is inevitable. As with each life… to celebrate arc in place …
So, invited to be in moment. Clear in arc. Celebrating each and all in arc. The link of tide, wave, pulse of breath, beating of heart… these are each the more and the less. Room in pattern for each. Celebration in pattern of each. To hold up one is to hold up the whole of the arc. In gratitude, it is enough. In celebration, it is the small wonder of dawning as the lenten cave invites the breathing, the pulse, the dance of all creation; the dance of all creation.
Sometimes the flowery words of scripture are like the duff on the stable floor. So overlaid with blather that the beautiful invitation to relationship and conversation are covered over in layer after layer of rococo …
What do you wish in your life? What are you looking for? What are you seeking?
Where are you going? Who is going with you?
The teaching of Augustine: … our hearts are restless until they rest in God…”
Sometimes the flowery words of scripture are like the duff on the stable floor. So overlaid with blather that the beautiful invitation to relationship and conversation are covered over in layer after layer of rococo …
What do you wish in your life? What are you looking for? What are you seeking?
Where are you going? Who is going with you?
The teaching of Augustine: “… our hearts are restless until they rest in God…”
It is now a moment… where am I going? Who is going with me… resting in the heart of creation. In my world, the heart of God. The heart of all creation.
We seek to solve a problem… however, the elements of the problem are not clearly defined. The rule of three… an input, a process, an output. At a scope, a scale, and in a context. A who, a what, a where… with a when, a how and a why. Rinse and repeat. Deeper and deeper goes the wander. with each pass, a greater clarity can come. In the growing moras of a challenge; a new pass in the rule of three. The rule, when the questions are in the incorrect order… may kick up a fuss that says a point has been missed. True. In this miss, the projection error can now be corrected.
Movement from blather to insight. Perhaps insight through blather. Just a touch to understand that questioning in engaged moment can move a culture far along a path. Most especially, when the whole of the culture practices the questions of this simple rule. Not to find a one correct answer … no; to engage the garden that is found in the dialogue.
When I begin from that place of walking to where I am… this is not an existential experience. It is a finding place for scope, scale and context. It is the rooting place of who, what, where, when, how and why. There is a place that invites a beginning moment.
If all emotion is based in projection, assessment of projection, engaging projection error and then recalibrating the projection so that it more closely responds to experience… and, in that set of practices, a connected and fostering attitude is manifested; a from what is assembled.
Context and from what … to what.
Gremlins and a journey…
Muray Bowen is responsible for the next image. That dance of triangle that invites the gremilins of guilt and shame… that of not good enough, bad playing… I did something bad… I am bad… Learning to engage in the gremlin dance and once dancing… beginning to be clear about where I live… and in that rooting in place, knowing self the better and the more.
Thank you Murray Bowen
Open and learning — Closed and defending
In hearing a conversation… is it based in yes/and or yes/but? Do the conversants cut off or give a lead for the next round? In participating in policy design, a room design, a song, a creative activity, a walk… in engaging a process; what is my attitude of participation. Are the who, the what, the where… dancing in a shared form? Is the when, the how and the why… in sync, in congruence, in… ?
Does the connective collaboration align and integrate both up and down a power structure? If yes/and, open… if yes/but… a system in defense. A system in decline. It is not black and white… for there are too many varibles of inside/outside, scope/scale, input – process – output…
This multi-variable sense and framing allows a fostering, sustainable system of integrating different levels of competence and structure to flex and dance in the storm. It is where we live in this moment. Well, it is where I find myself living in this moment.
A riff on the work of Clare Graves, Chris Cowan, Don Beck, Ken Wilber, and Said Elias Dawlabani
Passing the torch…
It is easy to hold on to a place. Even as the place leaves me. That desparate desire to have a home and a place to belong. To reflect on this sentiment. To own it as a desire.
In recognition, “There are many days that I wish desparately to fit in; to feel as if I belong. And yet, I do not. For to fit in, is too painful to my soul.”
What was a story or narrative of yesterday, a foundation of memories in stone… That castle has crumbled. In the strewn ruble… a wisdom comes from the foundation stones. The anchored ships in resentment bay begin to pull up, to come to harbor, to refit, to renew… to integrate the lessons learning in projection error. In that stripping away, collapse, renewal… there is something else happening. The dance. The pulse of all creation is beating in slow harmony. It never stops. It always pulses… it always invites. Just … for a while, perhaps, a situational deafness has been about. In the renewal in a new dawn… the wisdom and walking through the dark time now breaks as a seed breaks open.
There is a great wisdom in this cycle… a gread and wonderful wisdom.
An image…
Pulling up anchors and refitting… from anchored in, in Resentment Bay to sailing away.
The more I learn… The less I know…
Engaging all of us… where we are… finding interesting moment. In gratitude.
The work … each day. With thanks, humored moment and great appreciation.
Listening deeply. When I hear something through a projected filter… and the projection is in error… the ass hole box gets checked. Sitting with a set of projection error awareness.
The questions were in the wrong order. The hearing filter was set in the wrong place. The kind offer was heard as accusation. So… in this sudden awareness, the steps to make amends can form.
The process of renewing. We speak of progressive maintaining. We speak of lifecycle cost. We speak of differed Maintenance. Each has a point of emphasis. Each has a series of underlying narrative that sets the foundation for the analysis that creates a cost benefit.
Description…
The elements of linked system are described. The assumptions of each system… described. In that description; the links, foundations, stresses, all of the connected tissue, come to awareness. A series of observations and tests are conducted to assess the connected nature … In planning it would be called nexsus.
Now phases…
Perhaps an element is discovered to have multiple layers of links to a greater and lesser element. Even, in a surprise discovery or enlightened awareness, a connection, thought in one way… emerges in another… This phase of description and discovery give so much granularity and context to the scope and scale of the queries to this complex connection of elements.
There is the from what…
Removing the ‘should of’ – ‘could of’ – ‘would of’… And the result… the What.
Planning a to what…
Now comes the so what to get in the way or disrupt the jouney or deployment planning… Laughter ensues.
So for the moment… there we leave it… festering in a dance of redux. Gaining energy to burst into next steps…
Bursting into renewing… or finishing the degrade to make room for the renew.
I know that the bears, sitting with their figit spinner, are all focused on the day. It makes sense that they are focused. For, that is the pose that is their world.
I didn’t wake up thinking about a blog. I woke up thinking about the incredible beauty of the valley. Washed from days of rain. The sun is bright and makes believe that it is warm. Later today, there are meetings to ponder important issues of water, the cost of infrastructure, completition for resources… all of that concern that rings so important in the rising tide of leadership.
It is important work. Suddenly understanding that an old friend is positioning to take on another role in the fishbowl. That of moving from back bencher to an on the dais face. From gentures on the floor of the chamber to the raised seats. Even if he is not successful in this shift, he is working hard to create the option to ‘explore’ such a place.
Listening to young children, confronting leadership with great passion. That same leadership is equally passionate. Two blunt objects slamming into each other. A great deal of passion. A great deal of energy. The breakthrough is when both parties begin to listen and learn … shared passion, engaged in agreement of outcome. Understanding that it is not a place to which we go back. It is a journey that moves with time. So, there is not a place to return. It is a journey with story arc.
The wonder of engaging is that we look easily to being collectivly for what we are against. I hear it in my own conversations between. The power of a movement, a sustained movement is to be for what we are for. The whole of the idea; a collective of human movement. It is messy. It takes time. It is about seeing beyond the next quarter. In that, and in the description of those areas where I can not engage this larger vision. There are some things that are not negotiable. The sacred moments where there is not the energy to argue into a void or against a tide of being for what we are against…
This muse of engaging systems for which a binary is a violent reduction of both the depth of system and the sustaining connections that feed and foster. In so many arguments of being for what I am against… the reduction to A or B… straw man standing… a great joke. The humor of efficient argument. And… of a Saturday morning in February, a place to stop. For, the wonder of the morning is that it is a gift, this day. Moment to moment, a gift. With thanks.
It started one way… Shifted and great with better granularity. I am not sure what happened to it as it shifted. Just, the ideas that were so clear at the beginning of the conversation, who was in the conversation all shifted. The context… shifted and shifted again and again.
Now shifted
I am not sure how it happened… The granularity shift. Now there are things that need to be looked upon… the connections that were so clear; no longer.
What is this? Simple? Shift? It is just a wonder that each moment is somehow without a moment of clarity. For, the context of the engagement was not as it seemed from the beginning. Perhaps it is projection error on my part. Perhaps, there are many moving parts that are now… not available. One wonders. One is humbled with the shift.
How it it possible? That something so seemingly clear is now so muddy?
And another…
The wonder of each sudden shift. Time to leave it there. For, when each shift seems so foundational and shifting… the musing gets muddied … Time to just leave it there.
There seems to be an interesting issue that popped up today. That amazing moment when, out of the blue, an understanding that as a consultant, I am not following my own rules of setting questions in a context.
The wonder of … the boys and Mr. Bill.
Is it possible to see? After hours of client note input… the realization that the simple contextualization of the questions… who, what, where, when, how and why… was lacking in any sustainable format.
Every once in awhile, the format was grounded in context. Then, off the rails, it shifted to a hazy sense of form and function, simple questions, not anchored in scope, scale and context.
I’m not sure what that means except, once anchored in context, there is another set of clarity. The questions have a there – there to find grounding.
So there it is… a lesson from a rainy day. Anchored in context, a process takes on form and function. In that context, steps to shift, to grow, to find a succession plan, to fund a new endeavor… these all can find a path.
With out context, it is just blather. Actually, even with context it may be blather. That is a different issue. One for another moment. For the moment, it is a deeply felt lesson.
